Mission Accomplished -- Calories Consumed

Okay. Zebra Cake. That's what we ended up with.

Can I just say there sure is a lot to do to plan a wedding!!! No wonder Rachael's head is spinning! She's got a book that has a to-do list that starts at 1 year out. Are you kidding me? Don't publishers know Mormons don't have that kind of time to be engaged?

So, she's got exactly three months to cram 12 months worth of tasks into. (Yes, I realize I have now ended two sentences in this post with prepositions... so shoot me.)

I won't say Zebra Cake solved any of her problems, but it sure makes it more enjoyable to talk about them when they are in between bites.



By the way, the official date is now May 29th. The wedding is going to be lovely.

Tomorrow I Bake

Okay, so wedding planning is a stressful thing. Very stressful. Poor Rachael is showing signs of stress. Well... I have a little habit. I bake when I'm stressed. No, seriously... I bake. Don't ask me why. But I do. Well, actually, I have thought about it and I think I know why. Baking means kitchens. Kitchen means being a little girl in Grandma Wright's kitchen. Grandma Wright's kitchen means aprons and tastes and smells... and a warm oven... and hugs. And Grandpa coming home at some point. And each of us kneeling at our chair around the kitchen table for prayer. All that means warm and safe. Warm and safe means home... That's why I bake when I'm stressed. (How's that for a layman's psychotherapeutic analysis???)

The month before my brother's trial, the stress was incalculable. On top of everything, it was December. Christmas stress. The whole reason I ended up meeting MakeItHap'n Cap'n was because... well, I was stressed and needed a place to bake. My mom and I were pacing around like two tigers in a cage at Hogle Zoo. (Of course, Hogle Zoo only has one tiger, but you get the idea.) I wanted out of there. So, The Captain was kind enough to offer his kitchen. Yes, I flew from San Diego to Reno and then drove two hours south... just to do some Christmas baking. And boy, did I bake! The Captain left for his job early in the morning, turned his apartment over to me (a virtual stranger) and basically stayed away until 5:00 at night. I baked every Christmas treat I'd ever had in my repetoire. By the end of the day, we had cinnamon rolls, sugar cookies, sparkle cookies, pumpkin chocolate chip bread, chocolate applesauce bread, molasses cookies, oatmeal yucks, fudge, chocolate chip cookies, lemon squares. I even did chicken enchiladas and chili cheese dip for good measure. Then I packed up and headed for home. His boys arrived the next day to spend Christmas with him. I was long gone by then. I have to say, his home teaching families were pretty well-stocked for holiday treats, too. I wonder how he explained all those baked goods coming from his bachelor pad??? Hmmmm. I should ask.

Anyway, the aforementioned is submitted to prove that, yes, I bake when I'm stressed. Okay, who am I kidding? My size is testament to the fact that I bake when I'm stressed.

So, anyway, I talk to Rachael. She's stressed about wedding planning. So, what's my natural solution? "Oh sweetie, come to my house and we'll bake." Now, of course, I'm also ready to help with the wedding planning. Whatever she needs me to do, I'm happy to help. But, first things first! Some snickerdoodles maybe? How about double-decker brownies? (No walnuts for Rob.) Maybe just a couple artisan breads. Something. Anything to help reduce the stress. I find it so therapeutic. Hope it helps her tomorrow. Heaven forbid she have different coping skills. Gasp! Clutch. The. Pearls. What if she jogs to relieve stress??? Okay, well, she'll be on her own if that's the case. I'll have some chocolate chip cookies ready for her when she gets back.

I'll be sure to have my camera handy. We'll have picture proof of all our hard work -- or pastry therapy, however you want to look at it.

Looks Can Be Deceiving

This may look scrumptious. Even the name sounds tasty: Almond Joy Oatmeal. But, I'm here to tell you... NOT! This was not good. I made it this morning. The Captain ate it (bless his heart). Katie liked it... but then again she still watches Spongebob Squarepants at 19 years of age, so something akin to baby food would be likely to appeal to her. Jon just kept on looking at me like, "really?" I think he ate 1/4 of his bowl. Luckily, I made some chocolate muffins with chocolate chips. (Yeah, I'm a sly one. I didn't know how this whole oatmeal thing would go down, so I stacked the deck in my favor... just in case.

Now, I'm not ready to entirely give up on this recipe... or rather the idea of add-ins to oatmeal that would make it tastier. But the original version of this recipe calls for banana. I guess the creator thought it would give more binding or substance to the oatmeal. Well... I think it can do without the bananas. They make it seem mushy. I like oatmeal with a little crunch. That's why I thought the almonds would be good.

So, I'll give you the original recipe. I'll put my suggestions in parenthesis. Feel free to make whatever changes you'd like to it.

Almond Joy Oatmeal (Note: this recipe is for one serving. Multiply it however many times you need to)
Ingredients
1/2 cup (40g) rolled oats
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup water
pinch of salt
1/2 medium banana, sliced into thin pieces (I would omit this step)
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp almond extract
1 tsp Splenda (feel free to use regular sugar)
7 g almond butter (Didn't have any of this so didn't use it)
7g mini semi-sweet chocolate chips
7g coconut flakes, sweetened
4g almond slivers, toasted

Directions
In a medium size pan, heat the oats, milk, water, and salt over medium heat. Once the mixture begins to simmer, approximately 5-6 minutes, stir in the sliced banana. Continue to stir, almost whipping, until the banana breaks down and the mixture thickens and becomes creamy, about another 3-4 minutes. I really like adding the banana because it adds so much volume to the oats.
Add the vanilla extract, almond extract, and Splenda, and stir until incorporated. Pour into a serving bowl and top with the almond butter, chocolate chips, coconut shavings, and slivered almonds.


Now... my attempts in the kitchen don't always meet with disappointment. What follows was a BIG HIT!



Eclair Torte
1 cup water
½ cup butter
¼ tsp salt
1 C all-purpose flour
4 eggs
1 pkg cream cheese, softened
2 pkgs instant vanilla pudding mix
3 cups cold milk
1 carton Cool-Whip
Chocolate syrup

In a saucepan over medium heat, bring water, butter, and salt to a boil. Add flour all at once; stir until a smooth ball forms. Remove from heat; let stand for 5 minutes. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well with a wooden spoon after each addition. Beat until smooth. Spread into a greased 13x9 baking pan. Bake at 400 for 30-35 minutes or until puffed and golden brown. Cool completely on wire rack.
In a mixing bowl, beat cream cheese, pudding mix, and milk until smooth. (Now if you're not careful doing this you can end up with chunks of cream cheese in the pudding mixture. I beat the cream cheese first. Then add the first cup of milk to it a little at a time. Then add the rest and pudding mix) Spread over puff; refrigerate for 20 minutes. Spread with whipped topping; refrigerate. Drizzle with chocolate syrup just before serving. Refrigerate leftovers. 12 servings.

Sorry about the nostril view. But, proof that at least one of the recipes in the post was eaten with gusto:

I haven't laughed this hard in months!!!

Here is why you should always check your children's homework before they turn it in at school:



Here is the note that the mother sent to the school the next day:
Dear Miss Jones:
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.
I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.
From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith