Hilarious!!!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Where is the Justice in That?
So, day after day I don walking shoes and haul my clinically obese derriere up and down the hills in my neighborhood. I leash up two monstrously large dogs and traipse around from hither to yon with them so that they and I can get exercise. I swear off carbonated beverages and give up caffeine such that 'do the dew' is becoming only a faint memory. I bake like a mad woman for my food blog, yet after just a taste-test sample, send all the goodies to my neighbors in the name of my good health. I haul around hand weights and step up and back on an exercise step. Rain or shine. With or without my HenPecks partner. Biceps, triceps, chest flies, maybe not a zen master but a thighmaster certainly. Glutes. (don't ya just love that word?) Sit-ups... gadfrey... I've come to deplore the word crunches. All in the name of health and fitness. All in the name of burning calories and upping my metabolism.
And the net result???
The Captain loses 7 pounds. Are you serious?!?!?!?!?!?
I ask again, where is the justice in that!?!
And the net result???
The Captain loses 7 pounds. Are you serious?!?!?!?!?!?
I ask again, where is the justice in that!?!
Monday, September 21, 2009
I'm Watching What It's All About
From my upstairs office window. Down the street, in the front yard of some of my favorite neighbors. Their oldest son, age 21, home from his mission for three days now and his youngest sister (maybe she’s 11). Kicking a soccer ball around. Just the two of them. Can you imagine how that little girl feels? Her older brother all to herself. You can tell he’s been playing soccer on P-days in Portugal. His feet are fast. His moves are controlled. He shows off a little (you know she loves it!), then he passes the ball to her. Her feet are a little fumbled still; her moves aren’t quite as practiced. I imagine if I had a means of looking at her face, she’d be concentrating pretty hard as she dribbles and knees the ball. She attempts a pass back to him. It goes, um... wide to say the least. He chases it down, turns, dribbles, shows off some more. That big brother kind of showing off. The kind little sisters giggle about and admire. I suspect at this point her newly renewed hero worship is still pretty intense. She loves him. She’s missed him. And now he’s home. Playing ball with her in the front yard.
That’s what it’s all about.
Now that Elder Tipton is home, that makes Josh, my Josh, the next missionary due back from our ward. Three months. I try not to think about it a lot. I find myself more anxious that I thought I’d be. I served a mission. It was the pivotal experience of my independent life. I know what it’s like to be out there and to watch the calendar winding down and know the end is coming. I feel a little schizophrenic sometimes because I have that first-hand knowledge that allows me to empathize with him, yet at the same time, I am on the other side of it now. I am a mom who has not seen her son in almost two years. I am looking forward to his homecoming. More than I normally admit.
Josh has a younger sister, too. The age difference isn’t 11 years. It’s closer to 11 months (actually 14 months). One of those future memories I’m looking forward to having is the image of the two of them hugging each other for the first time at the airport when he comes through the gate. It’s gonna be something. There will be a depth of feeling there that words can’t convey. Only the visual image will do it justice. She misses him. Especially now that she’s in the middle of so many new adjustments in her life. Josh has always been a quiet pivotal part of her support system. And she loves him for it.
That’s what it’s all about.
There’s another image I want to see. Katie may beat him and get to Josh first (partly because she’ll have a bead on Josh and not notice anything else and partly because he’ll defer and let her go first), but the hug between Jon and his older brother will also be something to see. I don’t know that there are two more different personalities than these two brothers, but they have been through the trenches together. I’m told there’s something about brothers. I can’t speak to it firsthand since I’m of the female persuasion, but I’ve seen it as an outsider often enough to believe it. Whatever that “something” is, it’ll be there in that airport hug come December.
That’s what it’s all about.
Of course, there will be lots of other hugs that day as well. One of them will be mine. I don’t know what that will look like to those who see it. And, I won’t even attempt to describe here what it will mean to me. There are no words. But I feel it approaching as each week closes and my arms begin to ache wanting it to happen now.
There likely won’t be soccer balls being kicked around our front yard this December. But there will be drives, movies, dinners and laughter. There will be nights again when all the bedrooms of the house will be full and there will be voices up too late talking into the wee hours of the morning. It won’t last forever. It’ll be a reprieve until the day they each head out again to their own places to pursue their own lives.
That’s what it’s all about.
Oh. Looks like my neighbors know what it's all about, too. The mom just came out with a camera. Taking pictures. Recording images. Because at their house today, what it's all about is happening for them.
That’s what it’s all about.
Now that Elder Tipton is home, that makes Josh, my Josh, the next missionary due back from our ward. Three months. I try not to think about it a lot. I find myself more anxious that I thought I’d be. I served a mission. It was the pivotal experience of my independent life. I know what it’s like to be out there and to watch the calendar winding down and know the end is coming. I feel a little schizophrenic sometimes because I have that first-hand knowledge that allows me to empathize with him, yet at the same time, I am on the other side of it now. I am a mom who has not seen her son in almost two years. I am looking forward to his homecoming. More than I normally admit.
Josh has a younger sister, too. The age difference isn’t 11 years. It’s closer to 11 months (actually 14 months). One of those future memories I’m looking forward to having is the image of the two of them hugging each other for the first time at the airport when he comes through the gate. It’s gonna be something. There will be a depth of feeling there that words can’t convey. Only the visual image will do it justice. She misses him. Especially now that she’s in the middle of so many new adjustments in her life. Josh has always been a quiet pivotal part of her support system. And she loves him for it.
That’s what it’s all about.
There’s another image I want to see. Katie may beat him and get to Josh first (partly because she’ll have a bead on Josh and not notice anything else and partly because he’ll defer and let her go first), but the hug between Jon and his older brother will also be something to see. I don’t know that there are two more different personalities than these two brothers, but they have been through the trenches together. I’m told there’s something about brothers. I can’t speak to it firsthand since I’m of the female persuasion, but I’ve seen it as an outsider often enough to believe it. Whatever that “something” is, it’ll be there in that airport hug come December.
That’s what it’s all about.
Of course, there will be lots of other hugs that day as well. One of them will be mine. I don’t know what that will look like to those who see it. And, I won’t even attempt to describe here what it will mean to me. There are no words. But I feel it approaching as each week closes and my arms begin to ache wanting it to happen now.
There likely won’t be soccer balls being kicked around our front yard this December. But there will be drives, movies, dinners and laughter. There will be nights again when all the bedrooms of the house will be full and there will be voices up too late talking into the wee hours of the morning. It won’t last forever. It’ll be a reprieve until the day they each head out again to their own places to pursue their own lives.
That’s what it’s all about.
Oh. Looks like my neighbors know what it's all about, too. The mom just came out with a camera. Taking pictures. Recording images. Because at their house today, what it's all about is happening for them.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
This Is Not My Car
These are not my keys. (Well, of course they aren't. Anyone who knows me knows I don't drive Fords.)
May I just say again: I love where I live.
Last week, I went to my favorite local orchard and picked up a half-bushel of peaches and a box of tomatoes. It's a place I have gone for six years now. I know them and they know me. At least, we know each other's faces.
When I got back to my car with my booty (the pirate-type booty, not the Beyonce-type booty -- AS IF!!!), I pulled on the door handle of Underdog (that's the name Katie gave the Sonata) and it didn't budge. I tried all four door handles. Nothing. I peered in the window and there, happy as clams, were my car keys AND my cell phone. For some inexplicable reason (maybe delirium brought on by the anticipation of fresh peaches), when I got out of the car, I locked it. Something I never do. Heck, I don't even remember to lock my house door at night. (Well... I guess I will need to from now on since I've essentially just taken out an internet ad volunteering my availability for burglary - geesh!)
There I stood in the heat with no way into my car and no means of calling anyone who would care to help. Unlike some women who bat their eyes and look helpless, I really don't pull off the 'damsel in distress' fashion statement very well. That may explain why I don't tend to run into too many Knights in Shining Armor.
I went back up to the orchard office and explained my plight. I was going to ask for a phone to call The Captain. His was one of the few numbers I have memorized. Most everyone else is dutifully entered into my Contacts on my cell phone... which was currently sticking out its proverbial tongue at me through the windshield. As I explained my plight to the woman there, she said simply, "Here, take my car and drive home. You've got a spare key there, right? Just go get it and come on back to get your car."
Who does that??? Certainly no one in San Diego, California where I was raised. She didn't even know my name (well, until she looked at the check I had just written for the fruit). But there she was, calling me honey, telling me not to worry and handing me her car keys.
It was a nostalgic ride up to the house. I haven't been in a minivan since the Captain and I sold ours to make room for the Suburban. I kinda liked being up above the other cars. (Not enough to buy another minivan, but enough to lament the whole "let's sell the Suburban" decision again.)
I'll give you two guesses as to which of these vehicles was the delinquent Underdog that ended up hauling me home.
So, crisis averted. Spare key found. Return trip to Sabin Orchards in Salem. Peaches and tomatoes brought safely home... as backseat passengers in Underdog.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Here's a Fun One
I got this on Facebook, but since I'm being pretty lame at keeping this blog going (I'm a little busy with my other one), I thought I'd put this Karla-ology here. Feel free to comment with your own answers. It'll be fun.
***********FoodOLOGY***************
1. What is your salad dressing of choice?
1000 Island
2. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Ruth's Chris
3. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Most things Mexican
4. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
BBQ chicken, red onion
5. What do you like to put on your toast?
Dulce de Leche
***********Techn-OLOGY***************
1. How many televisions are in your house?
Three... one works.
2. The color of your cell phone?
Red
3. How long would it take you to look up who invented the Rubber Band?
I'd call my sister the librarian. Have her look it up.
4. Have any idea how many Megahertz your computer has?
There was a time I would've known. Now? I just don't care.
***************Bi-OLOGY******************
1. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right
2. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Cysts, hernias and children
3. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
My couch when I cleaned the carpet
4. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Yep. By the book "Barlett's Familiar Quotations" directly on the head.
************Crazy-OLOGY**************
1. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Nope. I'd obsess.
2. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
She Who Must Be Obeyed... or Madeleine.
3. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Depends on if I could do it closer to when the rent is due.
************Dumb-OLOGY******************
1. How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
two
2. Last time you had a run-in with the cops.
Every time I go see my brother. I hate cops.
3. Last person you talked to?
The Captain
**************Favorit-OLOGY****************
1. Season?
Spring
2. Holiday?
Christmas
3. Day of the week?
Saturday (college football, baby!)
4. Month?
May
***********Current-OLOGY*****************
1. Missing someone?
Nope. Everyone is present and accounted for. (ha!)
2. Mood?
Calm
3. What are you listening to?
computer hard disk clicking away
4. Watching?
The kids line up for the schoolbus... from my upstairs window.
***************Random-OLOGY*****************
1. First place you went this morning?
To powder my nose.
2. What's the last movie you saw?
All About Steve
3. Do you smile often?
Probably not.
***************Other-OLOGY*****************
1. Do you always answer your phone?
Nope. Speaking to me is your privilege not your right.
2. Its four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
My son in Florida
3. If you could change your eye color what would it be?
Deeper blue, I guess.
4. Do you own a digital camera?
Yep. Use it everyday.
5. Have you ever had a pet fish?
Yeah, the goldfish from the carnivals.
6. Favorite Christmas song(s):
O Come O Come Emanuel
7. What's on your wish list for your birthday?
Lens for my camera
8. Can you do push ups?
The sherbet kind. In the ice cream aisle.
9. Can you do a chin up?
Only when I have to buck up.
10. Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Both.
11. Do you have any saved texts?
Yes, I'm sentimental that way.
12. Ever been in a car wreck?
Yes, many. Have you seen my insurance premium?
13. Do you have an accent?
Depends on which language I'm speaking
14. What is the last song to make you cry?
Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing
15. What are your plans for tonight?
Clean house, bake bread.
16. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
No, but I've watched others do it.
17. Name 3 things you bought yesterday:
Peaches
Tomatoes
Blueberries
(but I haven't paid for them yet)
18. Have you ever been given roses?
Yes. LOVE GETTING ROSES!!!
19. Current worry?
Cash flow.
20. Current hate/dislike right now?
California Penal System, STOOPID elected officials.
21. Met someone who changed your life?
Yep a few. Some changed it for the better; a couple changed it for the worse.
22. How will you bring in the New Year?
Listening to Frank Sinatra songs and drinking something non-alcoholic.
23. What song represents you?
"Circle Dance" by Bonnie Raitt
24. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Yes. Definitely.
26. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
Yes.
27. Do you have any tattoos/piercings?
Ears pierced.
28. Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now?
Won't we all? I mean, no man is an island, right?
29. Does anyone love you?
Yes. My mama.
30. Ever had someone sing to you?
Nope. Oh wait, an old boyfriend. But it didn't matter. It was a "fill in the blank" song. When it was me he was singing to, the girl in the lyrics had "auburn" hair; when it was a brunette sitting next to him on the piano bench, the girl in the lyric had "raven" hair. Hence: a meaningless serenade.
31. When did you last cry?
Two days ago. Reflecting.
32. Do you like to cuddle
Yes, but only if it'll lead to something else.
33. Have you held hands with anyone today?
Yes, during a prayer... not romantically.
34. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
Top 40.
35. Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
My old friends never leave my life. They just scoot over on the bench to make room for the new ones.
36. Do you like pulpy orange juice?
No. Yuck.
37. Do you believe angels walk among us?
Yes. I've seen some.
***********FoodOLOGY***************
1. What is your salad dressing of choice?
1000 Island
2. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Ruth's Chris
3. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Most things Mexican
4. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
BBQ chicken, red onion
5. What do you like to put on your toast?
Dulce de Leche
***********Techn-OLOGY***************
1. How many televisions are in your house?
Three... one works.
2. The color of your cell phone?
Red
3. How long would it take you to look up who invented the Rubber Band?
I'd call my sister the librarian. Have her look it up.
4. Have any idea how many Megahertz your computer has?
There was a time I would've known. Now? I just don't care.
***************Bi-OLOGY******************
1. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right
2. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Cysts, hernias and children
3. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
My couch when I cleaned the carpet
4. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Yep. By the book "Barlett's Familiar Quotations" directly on the head.
************Crazy-OLOGY**************
1. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Nope. I'd obsess.
2. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
She Who Must Be Obeyed... or Madeleine.
3. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Depends on if I could do it closer to when the rent is due.
************Dumb-OLOGY******************
1. How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
two
2. Last time you had a run-in with the cops.
Every time I go see my brother. I hate cops.
3. Last person you talked to?
The Captain
**************Favorit-OLOGY****************
1. Season?
Spring
2. Holiday?
Christmas
3. Day of the week?
Saturday (college football, baby!)
4. Month?
May
***********Current-OLOGY*****************
1. Missing someone?
Nope. Everyone is present and accounted for. (ha!)
2. Mood?
Calm
3. What are you listening to?
computer hard disk clicking away
4. Watching?
The kids line up for the schoolbus... from my upstairs window.
***************Random-OLOGY*****************
1. First place you went this morning?
To powder my nose.
2. What's the last movie you saw?
All About Steve
3. Do you smile often?
Probably not.
***************Other-OLOGY*****************
1. Do you always answer your phone?
Nope. Speaking to me is your privilege not your right.
2. Its four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
My son in Florida
3. If you could change your eye color what would it be?
Deeper blue, I guess.
4. Do you own a digital camera?
Yep. Use it everyday.
5. Have you ever had a pet fish?
Yeah, the goldfish from the carnivals.
6. Favorite Christmas song(s):
O Come O Come Emanuel
7. What's on your wish list for your birthday?
Lens for my camera
8. Can you do push ups?
The sherbet kind. In the ice cream aisle.
9. Can you do a chin up?
Only when I have to buck up.
10. Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Both.
11. Do you have any saved texts?
Yes, I'm sentimental that way.
12. Ever been in a car wreck?
Yes, many. Have you seen my insurance premium?
13. Do you have an accent?
Depends on which language I'm speaking
14. What is the last song to make you cry?
Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing
15. What are your plans for tonight?
Clean house, bake bread.
16. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
No, but I've watched others do it.
17. Name 3 things you bought yesterday:
Peaches
Tomatoes
Blueberries
(but I haven't paid for them yet)
18. Have you ever been given roses?
Yes. LOVE GETTING ROSES!!!
19. Current worry?
Cash flow.
20. Current hate/dislike right now?
California Penal System, STOOPID elected officials.
21. Met someone who changed your life?
Yep a few. Some changed it for the better; a couple changed it for the worse.
22. How will you bring in the New Year?
Listening to Frank Sinatra songs and drinking something non-alcoholic.
23. What song represents you?
"Circle Dance" by Bonnie Raitt
24. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Yes. Definitely.
26. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
Yes.
27. Do you have any tattoos/piercings?
Ears pierced.
28. Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now?
Won't we all? I mean, no man is an island, right?
29. Does anyone love you?
Yes. My mama.
30. Ever had someone sing to you?
Nope. Oh wait, an old boyfriend. But it didn't matter. It was a "fill in the blank" song. When it was me he was singing to, the girl in the lyrics had "auburn" hair; when it was a brunette sitting next to him on the piano bench, the girl in the lyric had "raven" hair. Hence: a meaningless serenade.
31. When did you last cry?
Two days ago. Reflecting.
32. Do you like to cuddle
Yes, but only if it'll lead to something else.
33. Have you held hands with anyone today?
Yes, during a prayer... not romantically.
34. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
Top 40.
35. Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
My old friends never leave my life. They just scoot over on the bench to make room for the new ones.
36. Do you like pulpy orange juice?
No. Yuck.
37. Do you believe angels walk among us?
Yes. I've seen some.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Mae day, Mae day!!
For those of you who are interested, over on my food blog (The Pastry Flake), I have declared Fridays as Mae Days. Every Friday (well, except once when I forgot) instead of posting a recipe, I post a picture of Mae. I try to make it food-related cuz, well, I'm just thematic like that... it being a food blog and all.
Anyway, today's posting is a photo of The Captain's 50th birthday party (only, over there he's known as Mr. Doughboy). Take a look, if you'd like.
Anyway, today's posting is a photo of The Captain's 50th birthday party (only, over there he's known as Mr. Doughboy). Take a look, if you'd like.
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